Circuit City vs Mad Magazine

Pop Quiz: You work in the Corporate Operations office of Circuit City. One morning, somebody tells you that the new issue of MAD Magazine features a parody of a Circuit City promotional flier. You know that some Circuit City retail outlets sell magazines, including MAD. What is your response?

A. "We're in MAD Magazine? Neat! I think I'll buy copies for everybody at the office."
B. "We sell magazines? Hmmm... maybe that's not in line with our core competencies. I should look into that."
C. "Wait... I work at Circuit City? Crap! Maybe I should send my resume to Best Buy."
D. "MAD Magazine made fun of us? This is a crisis and I must solve it! I'll send a memo to our retail outlets ordering them to pull MAD from the shelves immediately!"

The correct answer, if you're smart, is A (although we would accept B or C, too.) The absolute WRONG answer is D. Unfortunately, that's the boneheaded answer a real live person working at Circuit City's Corporate Operations office actually gave when confronted with this situation in real life. Circuit City has since reversed that order. Nevertheless, what the heck were they thinking in the first place?

In a show of support for satire, free speech, and all that jazz, click here to get a subscription to MAD for yourself or for someone you love.

Or just click here to NOT shop at Circuit City.

The 6 Best Songs About Super Heroes

6. "Iron Man"
by Black Sabbath



This song featured a crude, unsubtle, and stupid guitar line... and I mean that in a good way. It's a metal song for people who don't normally like metal. Prior to the huge swell of hype for the movie, the comic book character wasn't very well known by most Americans -- he never had the fame Superman or Spider-Man achieved -- so this song really boosted his public image. Iron Man owes it all to Ozzy.


5. "Silent E"
by Tom Lehrer



"Silent E? Who's Silent E?" I hear you ask. Well, if you don't recognize this hero's name right away, it's probably because he didn't have a movie or a comic book. In fact, he doesn't exist outside of the context of this song. The Silent E song was created for the educational television show The Electric Company. If you weren't alive in the 70s, it came on right after Mr. Rogers and it stared Morgan Freeman as a character who loved to read. (This experience served Mr. Freeman well, as he now frequently plays characters who love to narrate.) Anyway, Silent E had the very special power of being able to turn a can into a cane. If that's not reason enough to love it, consider this: the song was written and performed by Tom Lehrer!

"Who's Tom Lehrer?" I hear you ask. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I reply.


4. "Superman Song"
by the Crash Test Dummies



It's a little maudlin, but it's mostly surprisingly touching. It's everything that the damn Five for Fighting song isn't. It's got those arresting basement deep vocals and it has strong lyrics,although they do pick on Tarzan a bit too much. Tarzan want to know -- what Tarzan ever do to earn contempt of Crash Test Dummies?

Runner up: I Am Superman by R.E.M


3. "Jimmy Olsen's Blues"
by the Spin Doctors



First off, it's a great jealousy song. It's not quite as good as "Is She Really Going Out With Him" but it's easily on par with "Jessie's Girl." Second, it's nice to a different spin on Superman. From Jimmy Olson's point of view... the Man of Steel is a major game killer. How's a regular guy like Jimmy supposed to get any love with competition like that?


2. "Spider-Man"
by The Ramones



The list is based on original pop songs, not cover versions of existing theme songs. But this is the Ramones, so to hell with rules! Rules are for bands with less punk cred, bub!


1. "The Ballad of Barry Allen"
by Jim's Big Ego



If you didn't already know, Barry Allen is better known as The Flash. (The BEST version of the Flash, by the way. The one who originally died in the 80s and who just came back from the dead... presumably to catch the premiere of Iron Man movie.) Anyway, this song has a different take on hero. For this guy, running super fast and saving the girl is easy, but moving slowly enough to sit through a seemingly endless conversation with the girl is a draining workout.

Sample lyric:

And you say the time goes rushing by
But it seems so slow to me
And I want to be there when you laugh or cry
But it takes too long
It seems so slow to me

This song packs an emotional punch that can knock out even Captain Cold.