Good News for Star Trek Actors: David E. Kelley Has a New Series!

If you ever watched any David E. Kelley shows like Boston Legal, The Practice, Boston Public, or Ally McBeal, then you know he's a special kind of Trekkie. While most super fans collect autographed photos, this producer collects actors. He seems to be on a personal mission to give former Star Trek actors regular paychecks. Mr. Kelley, as a public service to help you in this endeavor, we've put together a convenient checklist. Simply check off the actors names when you've given them a guest spot or a regular role on your new show Harry's Law.

Why You Don't Need to Worry About Your Zodiac Sign Changing

There's some good news for everybody who's been worried by a recent news story that suggests people may not be the Zodiac sign they thought they were. There is, as it turns out, no need to panic about new signs according to the results new study. According to this new study, any alleged changes to the Zodiac are irrelevant since Astrology is pure baloney and the positions of the stars and planets have no influence whatsoever on the personalities or lives of anybody.

The name of the new study is commonly known as the complete collected knowledge and wisdom of science.

Fun With Your Radio

Call the request line for your local top 40 station. (If you're not sure which station that is, it's the one with a morning show hosted by two guys who go by a name like "Craig-Man and The Biscuit.") When you make it through, follow this script:

YOU: I'd like to request anything by Elvis Costello.

DJ: Sorry, we don't play him.

YOU: Oh. How about something by Dire Straits, Ben Folds, or Joe Jackson?

DJ: Sorry, we don't play them either. We're only play Pop.

YOU: But don't those artists all play Pop music?

DJ: Yes, but it's a different genre of Pop.

YOU: There are different kinds of Pop?

DJ: Exactly, and we only play a certain kind. That's our format.

YOU: Oh. I see. One more quick question. If you only play a certain kind of Pop music, how come you spent the entire two months leading up to Christmas playing a rotation that leaned heavily on Big Band, Childrens, Classical, R&B, Smooth Jazz, Latin, American Songbook, Comedy, Classic Rock, Oldies, and Country songs?

At this point the DJ will suddenly sound like he's not reading from a script anymore.