Make Your Own 3D Blockbuster

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 was originally going to be released in 3D, but the studio decided that the conversion process wouldn’t be ready in time, so the film will only be available in the standard 2D format. This is very disappointing for fans. Just compare how the film will look in 2D with how amazing it could have looked if it had been given a proper 3D release:

But don’t worry about the studio's foolish decision—you can still create the 3D film effect for yourself if you follow these simple steps!

1. Buy tickets for the old-fashioned 2D release for you and your date. You’ll notice that the tickets are about 50 percent cheaper than you’d expect to pay for a 3D film. Don’t let this cost difference ruin the simulated 3D experience—you’ll be spending that extra money on various supplies.

2. Wear sunglasses to make the image on screen darker. Don’t use blue or yellow lenses. Stick with a standard grey tint. You want the colors on screen to be noticeably duller.

3. While the previews are playing, take a moment to rub Chap Stick over the lenses on your glasses. This will help to make the picture seem out of focus.

4. Print this picture of Ralph Fiennes, cut along the dotted line, and tape it to a popsicle stick.

Whenever Voldemort appears, hold up the picture. It's like he's coming right at you!

5. In the 7 Potters chase scene, throw a fist-full of feathers in the air when Hedwig gets hit. They will slowly float down around you and will lend the poignant moment an extra degree of sad realism. Note: Some of the people sitting near you may be allergic to real feathers, so be considerate and get your feathers from a non-allergenic pillow.

6. For the big wedding scene, throw rice in your face. (Uncooked is traditional.) Don’t be selfish—make sure you throw some into you date’s face, too.

7. When our three heroes enter Number 12 Grimmauld Place, the ghostly likeness of Dumbledore will rise from the dust to guard against intruders. Throwing real dust would be inappropriate, but some finely ground flour can be used to complete the 3D effect of the charging apparition. A third of a cup should do it. If the people behind you complain, apologize for not having enough flour for everybody.

8. Whenever Harry casts a Patronus spell in the Ministry of Magic, flash a camera in your eyes.

9. By this point, your date won’t want to speak to you ever again. This is all for the best, as you are now getting to the part of the film where you will need to abandon your seat: As Harry, Ron, and Hermione get chased through the woods, run as fast as you can up and down the aisles. Pretend that the hands of the other patrons reaching out to grab you are the branches of trees. When the police arrive in the theater and start running after you, make a break for the nearest exit shouting, “Snatchers! Snatchers!”

10. If you’ve timed everything right, you should be in a police holding cell just as Harry and Ron are getting tossed into the cellar of Malfoy Manor. Is this immersive, or what? Wait for Dobby to rescue you or for your parents to post bail. Whichever comes first.