Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Pop Quiz: Oprah or Super Villain?

Which of the following ideas are embraced by Oprah Winfrey (a talk show host and media mogul) and which are the notions of Brainchild (a super villain whose gigantic brain is visible through his glass skull)?

  1. My brain is like a giant magnet. If I think about the things I want, they will become attracted to me!
  2. I can make money simply by visualizing the great wealth I deserve to have!
  3. I don’t need to break into a store to steal precious diamonds—I merely have to use the power of my mind and the diamonds will become attracted to me!
  4. Other people are my pawns and I can make them do my bidding! The love of my life may not know I exist, but the power of my thoughts is so strong that they will be drawn to me without knowing why!
  5. Diseases? Ha! Those are for people whose minds are not more advanced than medicines or doctors! I can cure myself by thinking healthy thoughts!
  6. Tornados and tsunamis are no match for the power of my thoughts! I can protect myself with my thoughts! My brain sends out vibrations into the universe that repel any natural disaster!

Answer Key:
1. Oprah  2. Oprah  3. Oprah  4. Oprah  5. Oprah  6. Oprah

All of those viewpoints come from Rhonda Byrne’s, the author of The Secret. For some unknown reason, Oprah Winfrey seems to believe in these delusional ramblings and allows Bryne to shill her insane, logic-defying book on her show.

For the record, Brainchild doesn't believe in any of that "power of positive thinking" crap. He uses his big brain to make plans and set them in motion. If he wanted to destroy the world you can bet he wouldn't just wish for it really hard--he'd go and actually build a machine capable of crashing the moon into the earth! And if he fails, it would be because he's no match for the super-heroic powers of The Tick, not because he didn't want to win badly enough.

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